Kiran and Shaan's World

The essential problem with oral hygiene in America? Americans are too lazy to move their forearms in short back-and-forth motions while brushing. Let me remind everyone that brushing your teeth helps you burn 3 valuable calories a day. And brushing using non-traditional dental utensils helps build upper-arm strength. – Kiran

Elmo broke his arm the other day and poured Ny-Quil on it. But that didn’t seem right. So I poured Pepto-Bismol – because as we all know Pepto cures everything from traveler’s diarrehea to belching. *strokes beard* I should be a doctor. Wait, I don’t have a beard! I’m getting sued aren’t I? – Shaan

                                                                                        SMILE OF THE DAY

THE MATHS

Today I’m explaining my dating strategy via mathematical equations…and as you can plainly see, this relationship beginning equals this. And that equals this. And me equals this. And her times me equals me divided by… something… – Kiran

Young people can be so unprepared sometimes. Take yesterday for instance, Vivienne Jolie-Pitt was completely unable to stand for our photo shoot – she was actually propped upright by a series of reduced-scale flying buttresses and an unnamed three year-old. True story. – Kiran

I guess you can say I’m something of a body builder. *flexes arms* Mamacita! Oh yeah, I definitely herniated myself. This can’t be good. I think I really did it this time. Okay, is anyone a doctor? What happens when my second bicep wraps itself around the other two while the fourth one continues to be made of titanium? – Kiran

A couple of people have asked me about my writing experience. You’ll be pleased to know I’ve never picked up a pen before. And although I have been seen sitting at the computer, I’m still too young to type out complete sentences and reach the shift key unassisted. – Shaan

POST-HALLOWEEN GOSSIP

Oooooooo! I’ve yet to confirm anything, but Zebbie reports that Scooby-Doo is in fact a werewolf. This also means that part of Scooby’s day is spent fighting vampires and biting his colleagues. He’s probably working his way through the werewolf ranks: entry-level Creeper Werewolf, executive assistant Rabid Werewolf, middle-management Werewolf Howler, upper-management Fire Werewolf, junior-executive Cyber Werewolf, senior-executive Savage Werewolf and finally, Werewolf God. – Kiran

If I ever meet Deepak Chopra I would like to ask him the following questions:

1. Is there a way to connect my outer-self to my inner-self?;

2. Can I increase my enlightenment quotient through holistic cardio?; and

3. How can I maintain a perpetual Buddha-like disposition when my masculine aura interferes with my meditation? – Shaan

Broccoli is the leading cause of drug addiction and death in the nation. It’s true. And I’m practically a doctor, so I know what I’m talking about. See this stethoscope and prescription pad? – Kiran