Posted on 9 January, 2008 by Jenice
P16.JPGFor those of you who wonder if PBS pays me to write posts about Elmo, the answer is no. [crunch, crunch] Hmmmm…but that’s not a bad idea. PBS, feel free to call me at 1-888-LUV-ELMO. I accept cash or gold bars. No PayPal please. – Kiran
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Posted on 8 January, 2008 by Jenice

P15.JPGFor 2008 accentuate all your accessories. Car keys too. And remember: Sometimes a little braid at the side of your face can be more intriguing then a whole head of braids. – Kiran

 

 

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Posted on 7 January, 2008 by Jenice

P14.JPGHow was yesterday’s Muppets Illustrated photo shoot with Miss Piggy? Okay, to be perfectly honest I signed a waiver at the shoot preventing me from saying anything negative about her feet, but, heck, I can talk freely about her “naked slippers” (wink-wink) and let’s just say her “naked slippers” (wink-wink) were in dire need of a pedicure. – Kiran

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Posted on 6 January, 2008 by Jenice
P13.JPGDespite everyone’s fear of global warming and energy scarcity, I’ve peered into the future and I’m not too worried. Trees and icebergs will be around forever. How do I know this? Because it already is the future, and no one dresses like they’re in Logan’s Run. Think about it! In thousands of films and television shows about the future, everyone dresses identically and often in beige. But now it’s 2008 and everyone still dresses in different ironic t-shirts and no one’s talking to apes named Cornelius. I wonder if Albert Einstein felt this smart after he discovered all that science stuff. – Kiran 
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Posted on 5 January, 2008 by Jenice
P3.JPGIs he around? No? Okay, well, last summer I spent one weekend lounging in a swimming pool full of fruit punch. Or at least I was until the pool guy came and started asking why I filled the community pool with punch. He didn’t seem to believe me when I said “Jeebus told me to.” But yet he said “Jeebus thinks I should call your parents.” Which he did. What a hypocrite. – Kiran 
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Posted on 4 January, 2008 by Jenice

P12.JPGWhat am I working on? An article for Vanity Fair. It’s an in-depth examination of high-end contemporary menswear entitled “Style Watch 2008.” In it I will explore such important questions as: “How to Cope with Flaccid Monograms” and “Commanding Respect in the Boardroom: The Power of the Exposed Chest”. – Kiran  

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Posted on 3 January, 2008 by Jenice

P11.JPGZebbie, bring me the Sword of Omens! Thunder. Thunder! THUNDERCATS! HOOOOOOOOO! [looks around] Oh man, can someone go upstairs and tell Mom I need four C batteries for this thing. Dude, hurry up. It’s important. – Kiran 

 

 

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Posted on 2 January, 2008 by Jenice

P124.JPGLast month, Dan Rather was awarded broadcast journalism’s most prestigious honor, a Peabody. Meanwhile, my peers crowned me the “King of Journalism” for my in-depth expose of Oscar the Grouch’s hedge fund scandal. (Okay, so maybe I just lined up a bunch of stuffed animals and held a crowning ceremony in the living room. But Papa Smurf thinks I deserve a Pulitzer and he knows his stuff.) – Kiran

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Posted on 1 January, 2008 by Jenice

HAPPY NEW YEAR 

P1.JPG2007 was less “partyingest” than 2006, but trust me, 2008 is going to be totally AWESOME! – Kiran

 

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Posted on 31 December, 2007 by Jenice

P123.JPGWe made it home just in time for Elmo’s New Year’s Eve Party. Goody bags were offered to all the guests and included $10,000 cyborg tigers and 24-carat gold hubcaps. I didn’t get any myself, but those would have gone awesome with the $1 million diamond-encrusted toilet paper I bought in Vegas. (It hurts to wipe your nose with, but I love how it makes my face sparkle.) – Kiran

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