SMILES OF THE DAY

SMILE OF THE DAY

This is the hat I wear when I let a monster truck give me a haircut. – Shaan
Skinny jeans – I assume this means they make your legs look thinner while doing absolutely nothing for your upper body. I’d go so far as to say they make it look like you’re a marshmallow with toothpicks for legs. I have no idea who the market is for this. Is there a demographic out there that will literally spend money on anything. Did you tape two pieces of string together and call it a cashmere headband? This fictional group will take ten. – Shaan

Mr. Potatohead’s new cologne smells like s’mores. Wow – I was way off. I always assumed it would smell like postage stamps. Shows how much I know. Of course, I do spend half my day with pashmina throw ribbons wrapped around my head. Is that how fancy people do it? Because I’m feeling pretty good. And by good, I mean awesome – and no longer see the need to wear pants. Stop oppressing me, slacks! – Shaan
To the untrained eye it probably looks like I’m wearing some common pedestrian hat, but in reality, I have a secret marshmallow fetish. (Yes – that is how I would read that.) – Shaan
The last words I heard from Shaan were, “I’m just getting madder and madder…” before he stormed off. Maybe he should’ve found out what time Honey Baked Ham opens instead of designing a hat shaped like Guam. (8 am. Its 8 am – because you have to get there early for the good spirals.) – Kiran

Mandarin oranges are a gift from God himself to remind us, his most beloved creation, that sometimes a fruit can be a masterful work of art, and if one should attempt to hide such beauty with condiments (or whatever that mysterious ambrosia sauce is that they use at school) they should be cast out upon the rocks where there is much weeping and gnashing of teeth. – Shaan