Kiran and Shaan's World

This past Labor Day weekend was the shortest long weekend ever! We should make every weekend three days so we can spend as much time possible this summer walking on the beach or reading in a patch of sun. – Shaan

There’s only one thing I hate more than being chained to my computer on the world’s longest Friday and that’s performing slow 70’s disco claps. – Kiran

I was at Mel’s diner last night and a girl in the booth behind me started choking. Her friends did nothing, despite her using the correct international sign for choking. As I slid out of my booth to go help, a man dressed as the Holy Spirit came out of nowhere, gave her the hemlich, twirled around pointed at me and said “Eye lak yer haar.” Then he disappeared into the night. I wish all problems could be solved that way. He saved the girl AND made me feel good about my hair. – Shaan

Yesterday at Shanghai Yang’s, listening to my iPod, I encountered my braided, garlanded dream girl. She was eating noodles out of a styrofoam container. Her shift dress had turquoise feathers on it and dreamcatchers. Screwing my courage to my sticking point, I screwed up. By the time I approached her, she had faded into anonymity. I hope she uses Facebook! – Shaan

If I learned anything at last Sunday afternoon’s goat rodeo, it’s that wearing three-inch lifts in my cowboy boots induces its own version of vertigo — meaning you still feel like you’re wearing them forty-eight hours after you took them off. – Kiran

SMILE OF THE DAY

Today Dada-ji and I are dining al fresco and enjoying a warm Sunday. Come by later this afternoon when I will be flexing my macho muscles and performing in Reggie’s Ruff-Riding Goat Rodeo. – Kiran

Today Kiran and I created a flowchart designed to answer the question “Do you dress like a Hottie?”. It’s brilliant for a number of reasons, but high up on the list has to be the sequence of questions that goes “Are you wearing a skirt? (yes)/Are you Scottish? (no)/Are you a Brazilian supermodel (yes)/Awesome.” – Shaan

WHAT?! Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots and inventor of energons has been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize? What can I say about Optimus Prime and the Nobel Peace Prize. The idea is clearly absurd. All I know is, if Optimus Prime does win the Nobel Peace Prize, I’m totally giving mine back in protest. – Kiran

Don’t forget to tune in to Elmo’s new reality show “Elmolicious“. On tonight’s episode: Elmo and his bros plan a Broliday but their Bro Bus breaks down. Tune in for all this and more on a very special episode of “Elmolicious”. – Kiran