Kiran and Shaan's World

SMILE OF THE DAY

Well, it’s not much of a beach day, but it is a summer Wednesday and I have run out of news for the moment. So I’m gonna go be lazy, maybe eat a giant cheeseburger and resume blogging later this afternoon. – Kiran

I am often compared to a rock. A strong rock with rock pecs, biceps and rocky good looks carved from, well, rocks. – Shaan

Look outside. Do you see the difference? Can you feel the magic? Children are dancing in the street. Old women are weeping and dancing with joy. Soldiers are carrying carnations instead of grenades. Things have changed out there and I’ll tell you why: DAD’S COMING HOME TODAY!

[Editor’s Note: Praise Jesus, Mary and Joseph!]

SMILE OF THE DAY

At approximately 7:22 am today, Kiran inadvertently – and I use that word loosely – left the water on in the upstairs sink. Um, right about now I’m guesstimating that the water flooding the second floor has passed the 2,500 gallon mark. And while Mom begins the arduous task of containing the water and Kiran struggles to stay clear of Mom’s wrath its anyone’s guess as to what other water-borne disasters lie in wait for us. At this point I wouldn’t be surprised by a hurricane, flash floods or the second coming of our Lord. – Shaan

[Editor’s Note: Unlike most of our past posts that have been exaggerated for comedic effect, this one, sadly, is painfully true – as evidenced by the gentle rain cascading from our living room ceiling.]

Have you met my new friend? His name is Apu Nahasapeemapetillion. He’s from the U.K. and a distant descendent of Shakespeare. And, classy. He sips tea, says “Cheerio!” and uses a monocle to read. – Shaan

July 31, 2008

INTERNAL MEMO

To: Staffers at Kiran’s World

Re: Office Conduct

As you know, Shaan has been visiting our office on a regular basis as a guest writer. Shaan is a consummate professional and a terrific blogger. That said, I have noticed staffers imposing themselves upon Shaan to a point that this email has become necessary. Consequently I am requesting that all staff members and interns refrain from squeezing Shaan’s muscles or asking him to crush watermelons with his biceps or calves whenever he enters the office. If there are requests for photos or signatures, they must all be submitted to Russell or Zebbie in advance. They will try to accommodate requests in due course.

Thank you for your patience and understanding.

Sincerely,

Kiran

Who hosts better dinner parties? Well, Burt and Ernie have a flair for throwing buffets. They bring “a good mix” and get people to talk about the general issues of the day. Progressive. Oscar the Grouch on the other hand likes to present guests with a menu straight out of an old Spanish novel. Sure he can be all death-stares one minute, tapas recommendations the next, but his dulce frylitos are to die for. – Kiran

Elmo and I spent a sun soaked weekend in Acapulco and had a marvelous time. However I would like to use this opportunity to address some of the rumors concerning Elmo and our activities during the weekend. I want to keep this short so let me just address some inaccuracies I’ve overheard so far:

– We stayed at the Villa Cristal Resort in Acapulco and Elmo did not pay off the locals to push around our cart at Wal-Mart. Also, it was a Super Wal-Mart;
– The filthy-mouthed parrot named ‘Lorenzo’ had already been trained when we arrived. Elmo and I had no part in his training;
– Elmo plead nolo contendere to threatening Lorenzo with his GPS device*; and
– I’m not sure where that picture came from but Elmo’s drink of choice is a Kir Royale, not a Bud Light.

* I totally remember when something like that happened on ‘Entourage’! Or wait, was it on ‘Cops’?